My husband and I recently went through a marital crisis. It was long coming due to the neglect of our marriage. We have been busy with raising our children, work, and hobbies. We never stopped to work on our marital relationship. After years of neglect it all came tumbling down. Although the collapse was extremely painful, we both decided that we wanted to give our marriage a second chance. I consider this a blessing. I now get an opportunity to focus on my marriage and make it the absolute best marriage possible. During this time we chose to seek wise counsel. We are seeing a counselor to help us with communication and working through issues that are hard to discuss on our own without arguing.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9
I also picked up several biblical based marriage books that are helpful. One thing that these books are doing for me, is exactly what I share on my blog, they are filling my mind with the correct thoughts toward my husband and marriage. They help me to stay focused on the positive side. They remind me to always show love and respect to my husband. When my thoughts start to stray on some old hurt, I am reminded of things that I have recently read about forgetting past hurts and to only focus on today. One of the books that I am reading is “Love Life for Every Married Couple”, by Dr. Ed Wheat and Gloria Okes Perkins. Our counselor recommended, “His Needs, Her Needs”, by Willard F. Harley Jr. Both of these books have wonderful information to fill your mind with. I reflect back often on information from these books to help me stay focused on the positive aspects of my marriage.
I realized during this time, that while I spent my quiet time with God that I read a devotional for me and I prayed over my children, but I never prayed over my marriage or husband. Now included in my quiet time, I use the book by Stormie Omartian, “The Power of a Praying Wife”. I get my mind focused on right thinking toward all of my family, not just part of them. My marriage, just like me, will continue to be a work in progress. I am thankful that I was given this chance to realize it before it was too late.
Do something kind and unexpected for your spouse this week just because. If you are not including your spouse and your marriage in your prayers then please start including them today. Make it a goal for next year to work on your marriage to make it the best possible and seek wise counsel if you’re not sure where to start.