They were going to jump, but I talked them off the ledge.

There they were standing there, ready to jump at a moments’ notice. They weren’t afraid and did not give any thought to how it would make others feel. They were going to jump unless some drastic measures were taken. At first, I almost gave in and let them jump. I was on board with their cause, I understood where they were coming from. I had been in this position before and had seen many jump to their demise. Suddenly, my subconscious kicked in with the thoughts that I had recently planted in it. These were not the thoughts from the past, these were new and strong. I kicked into action. I started allowing the new thoughts to take over, I was on automatic, just letting the new thoughts roll.

wikimedia.org

wikimedia.org

What I was talking off the ledge were my actions. I had just had a conversation with my husband and I had made assumptions about a certain situation. I was about 30 minutes from home and on my way home, I had to talk myself off that ledge. I was going to go home and accuse him of such and such. The old selfishness and insecurities were gaining strength. I had to stop them. If not, I would get home and the fight would be on.

I started questioning my accusations that were swirling in my head. Are these thoughts reality? Does his past actions coincide with today’s accusations toward him? As I started to honestly answer these questions and remind myself of how I am supposed to treat my husband, I started to calm down. I started to back away from the ledge. I reminded myself of the new ideas that I had learned from the book, “Love Life for Every Married Couple” by Ed Wheat and Gloria Okes Perkins. These ideas were a new way to love my spouse that I had not used before and they are great. I have noticed a lot of change in myself and how my husband responds to me when I follow this new way of loving him. I continued to replay the words from the book in my mind. When I arrived at home, I did not start in on my husband, but met him with a smile and open arms. He returned the gesture. At least one unnecessary blow up had been avoided simply because I took the time to think about my actions and what they were going to do. The fight really would have been unnecessary because in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter anyway.

Inviting Excellence into our Life is about becoming our best at everything we do. Part of that is filling our minds with the correct tools to counter destructive thought patterns. I would love to hear what tools you are using. I am always looking for new ideas and suggestions to be a better me. Remember to go out and share your AWESOME this week.

Marital crisis!!

My husband and I recently went through a marital crisis. It was long coming due to the neglect of our marriage. We have been busy with raising our children, work, and hobbies. We never stopped to work on our marital relationship. After years of neglect it all came tumbling down. Although the collapse was extremely painful, we both decided that we wanted to give our marriage a second chance. I consider this a blessing. I now get an opportunity to focus on my marriage and make it the absolute best marriage possible. During this time we chose to seek wise counsel. We are seeing a counselor to help us with communication and working through issues that are hard to discuss on our own without arguing.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9

I also picked up several biblical based marriage books that are helpful. One thing that these books are doing for me, is exactly what I share on my blog, they are filling my mind with the correct thoughts toward my husband and marriage. They help me to stay focused on the positive side. They remind me to always show love and respect to my husband. When my thoughts start to stray on some old hurt, I am reminded of things that I have recently read about forgetting past hurts and to only focus on today. One of the books that I am reading is “Love Life for Every Married Couple”, by Dr. Ed Wheat and Gloria Okes Perkins. Our counselor recommended, “His Needs, Her Needs”, by Willard F. Harley Jr. Both of these books have wonderful information to fill your mind with. I reflect back often on information from these books to help me stay focused on the positive aspects of my marriage.

I realized during this time, that while I spent my quiet time with God that I read a devotional for me and I prayed over my children, but I never prayed over my marriage or husband. Now included in my quiet time, I use the book by Stormie Omartian, “The Power of a Praying Wife”. I get my mind focused on right thinking toward all of my family, not just part of them. My marriage, just like me, will continue to be a work in progress. I am thankful that I was given this chance to realize it before it was too late.

Do something kind and unexpected for your spouse this week just because. If you are not including your spouse and your marriage in your prayers then please start including them today. Make it a goal for next year to work on your marriage to make it the best possible and seek wise counsel if you’re not sure where to start.