I have a dirty little secret. I am an addict. I am addicted to the good stuff. The sweets, especially the chocolate stuff. It’s an everyday battle not to consume some sort of sweet goodness. I also have other addictions, some that are not so sweet. These are more personality/prideful/self-absorbed addictions and they are just as hard to control at times. I fail at controlling them at times. I am an independent person, so I don’t like letting others have control. I am a control addict. Part of this is fear induced, part of this is pride induced. I fear others cannot manage their own lives, so I tend to share, really coerce them that my way is best. I use to want to show everyone else their flaws without taking a look in the mirror first and fixing me. I say, “use to” because I have truly come along way with this issue. In my upcoming eBook, 21 ways to Invite Excellence into your Life, I discuss the ways in which I discovered self-awareness and how it made a life changing difference in me.
Do you have a secret addiction that is detrimental to your relationships? I’m not talking about the so called “taboo” addictions of drugs, alcohol, sex, or pornography. I’m talking about being a nag addict, last word addict, or control the household addict. Addictions are not just drugs and alcohol. Addictions take many forms in society. When we allow something to be placed above our family or health it could be considered an addiction. An addiction can also be something as little as having to have the last word in an argument. Something inside of us just can’t let go of that last word. We can’t walk away and let it go. This is a sign that there are other things in control of our mind instead of us. We allow these little things to go unchallenged, thinking they are only little things, but are they?
In your marriage, do you constantly nag your husband about getting projects completed? Do you always have to have the last word? Do we think that because we don’t have a “taboo” addiction that our addictions are okay? Our addictions can be just as detrimental to our marriage and other relationships as the taboo addictions. They build over time. We take away the other persons’ right to self-manage their life. We feel a need to be overly involved with how they should act or not act. Growing and learning is what life is about. This isn’t just about reading books and learning new topics, but about self-awareness. Looking inside and taking ownership of our little “addictions” is the first step.
Many of us don’t consider these an issue, but if we expect others to clean up their act, then we should first start with cleaning up ours. Your challenge this week is to look and see if you have some hidden addictions in your life. If you’re not sure, ask your spouse. Just kidding, don’t ask the spouse. Start with being present in your interactions with others and see if you notice any addictions. This is a great way to begin self-awareness and to Invite Excellence into your Life. Go out and let your AWESOME shine!!!