Help!! I’m an addict.

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I have a dirty little secret. I am an addict. I am addicted to the good stuff. The sweets, especially the chocolate stuff. It’s an everyday battle not to consume some sort of sweet goodness. I also have other addictions, some that are not so sweet. These are more personality/prideful/self-absorbed addictions and they are just as hard to control at times. I fail at controlling them at times. I am an independent person, so I don’t like letting others have control. I am a control addict. Part of this is fear induced, part of this is pride induced. I fear others cannot manage their own lives, so I tend to share, really coerce them that my way is best. I use to want to show everyone else their flaws without taking a look in the mirror first and fixing me. I say, “use to” because I have truly come along way with this issue. In my upcoming eBook, 21 ways to Invite Excellence into your Life, I discuss the ways in which I discovered self-awareness and how it made a life changing difference in me.

 Do you have a secret addiction that is detrimental to your relationships? I’m not talking about the so called “taboo” addictions of drugs, alcohol, sex, or pornography. I’m talking about being a nag addict, last word addict, or control the household addict. Addictions are not just drugs and alcohol. Addictions take many forms in society. When we allow something to be placed above our family or health it could be considered an addiction. An addiction can also be something as little as having to have the last word in an argument. Something inside of us just can’t let go of that last word. We can’t walk away and let it go. This is a sign that there are other things in control of our mind instead of us. We allow these little things to go unchallenged, thinking they are only little things, but are they?

In your marriage, do you constantly nag your husband about getting projects completed? Do you always have to have the last word? Do we think that because we don’t have a “taboo” addiction that our addictions are okay? Our addictions can be just as detrimental to our marriage and other relationships as the taboo addictions. They build over time. We take away the other persons’ right to self-manage their life. We feel a need to be overly involved with how they should act or not act. Growing and learning is what life is about. This isn’t just about reading books and learning new topics, but about self-awareness. Looking inside and taking ownership of our little “addictions” is the first step.

Many of us don’t consider these an issue, but if we expect others to clean up their act, then we should first start with cleaning up ours. Your challenge this week is to look and see if you have some hidden addictions in your life. If you’re not sure, ask your spouse. Just kidding, don’t ask the spouse. Start with being present in your interactions with others and see if you notice any addictions. This is a great way to begin self-awareness and to Invite Excellence into your Life. Go out and let your AWESOME shine!!!

I was shot by a fiery dart

In the mornings I use two devotional books. One is The Power of a Praying® Parent Book of Prayers (Power of a Praying Book of Prayers), by Stormie Omartian and the other is Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence, by Sarah Young. I use “The Power of a Praying Parent” as a guide to pray over my children. Toward the end of the prayer I was reading one day the scripture said, “quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one”. Ephesians 6:16. This particular scripture of Ephesians talks about putting on the armor of God and going into spiritual warfare.

“12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians 6:12-18

As I finished reading this I had an overwhelming feeling that something bad was going to happen to one of my children. At one time I would have allowed these thoughts to control my mind and I would have let my mind wonder where it wanted to go causing me grief and needless worry, but instead I stopped what I was doing and came back to the present moment. I realized I’ve been hit. One of the fiery darts made it through. The fight was on. I told myself the truth. I had just sent my two youngest off to school and they were in wonderful hands. My oldest was going to a Global Leadership Summit with some of her Youth Group members at a local church. They were all fine. I concluded that I must live in the moment and at this moment life was good. If something happens, I will worry about it then.

We must all be aware that we are going to be the victims of fiery darts from time to time, but with the knowledge of what is happening we can combat the attack and be conquerors. When this happens know that this is an attempt to steal your peace, but don’t let that happen. Live in the present and don’t give in to needless worries. Can you think of a time when you have been under attack and didn’t realize it and allowed the fiery darts to steal your peace? Remember to always Invite Excellence into your Life by educating yourself. We are more than we allow ourselves to be, so go Be More!!

Find your missing peace.

I am not one to tell you who or what you need to believe in. By belief, I am referring to our higher power. For someone like me who has a tendency to want to control situations, believing in a higher power relinquishes me from trying to get involved in every detail of mine and others lives.

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It has been a long road for me to give up trying to fix everything and everyone around me, but I’m glad I did. For one thing, it’s exhausting. The second thing is, it steals your peace. I am now much better rested and live with a peace that I never knew existed.

Typically when I take my oldest daughter shopping it’s not a fun experience because I stress out about spending money and she really likes to spend my money. We recently went shopping and I put my technique to the test of not saying anything and letting life play out. She started looking at some boots that I was not interested in purchasing at this time because I wanted to wait until Christmas. I just kept telling myself, just wait and see how this plays out, don’t say anything to her, yet. I waited and to my great joy they did not have any boots in her size that she wanted. Crisis diverted. No major arguments broke out and we had a great day shopping. This is a small incident in life, but it works with the big issues also.

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Not all situations work out like this, but it’s a very true point that most of our lives we worry over things that never even happen. This is one of the many ways to bring peace into your life by simply changing the way we think. It has helped me to stop trying to control everything and let God run my life just as he is supposed to.

Are there times in your life that you need to let life play out before getting involved? Give it a try this week. Be patient and see how things work out right before your eyes.