Don’t play the blame game, look inside first.

Lori Vowels Photography

Lori Vowels Photography

Women can at times be mean spirited and ugly to each other. Why? It is their lack of self-worth and insecurities. During a girls teenage years it is a fact that our self-esteem decreases. What are we doing to regain our self-worth? How do we reverse that negativity in our lives?

We are not taught positive mindsets, personal development, self-awareness, or emotional intelligence in general studies in school. These are areas that we must search for ways to improve. Unless we intentionally go looking for how to correct these issues in the appropriate way, we will look for answers outside of ourselves.

We will not be aware that we can fix the majority of our problems by simply looking within. Our issues will always be external unless we have a strong foundation inside to steady us through our day to day activities. All of our problems are not created by someone else. Most of our problems are created by our wrong reactions to a situation. Having a strong self-awareness of who we are will keep us from being swayed by every little breeze that comes along.

When we look inside we are not going to find an ugly, mean spirited person, yet that is sometimes how we act. That type of behavior comes from insecurities. We have to fix the insecurities to fix that behavior. When we look inside we should do so with loving kindness. Be understanding and compassionate with ourselves. Inside we are going to find a beautiful kind person who wants to love and be loved, we just have to help that person come out.

The first step in finding this person is going inside and looking around. Be really honest when you do this. If there are issues that need to be addressed then find a qualified counselor who will help you understand your feelings. Counseling is not for the weak, it is for the strong. Those who go to counselors are the ones who have the courage to say, “I want to change”, “I want to be my best self”. These are the people who learn how to overcome the negativity inside. This allows for the necessary changes to take place to move forward and get out of the “I’m not enough” rut. I don’t know of anyone who is “not enough”, they are just unaware of what steps they need to take to be their best self.

Find someone you really admire. What is it about that person that you admire so much? Are they honest, loving, giving, living with integrity, have great character? The things that we admire most in others are characteristics that we hold on the inside of us as well. We admire them because they are a reflection of our real selves. All of these traits are inside of us just waiting to come out. We need to learn to nurture these traits within ourselves and let them start flourishing. Learn to instill these qualities within ourselves to be who we were truly designed to be.

Starting today, take the first step toward your new, inspiring, courageous, I really am a great person life. Look inside and see how amazingly beautiful you are.