Break the bad habit of worry!!!

www.jenniferhester.com

www.jenniferhester.com

Being happy is a choice. We can choose to worry about things we cannot control or we can choose to let them go. Worrying about tomorrow and what it might bring is a waste of time and is a happiness stealer. Matthew 6:34 tells us “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Many will say this is easier said than done and I agree, but worrying is a bad habit.

Breaking bad habits will take some work, but it’s worth it. Understand this is a bad habit and we are in the process of changing the bad into good. We can choose every day to get up and be thankful for all we have. I have made this a habit in my life. Before I get out of bed, I thank God for all the many wonderful blessings that are in my life.

I have found that the morning is also a time when I seem to be bombarded by worries and thoughts of negativity. I have to ask myself, “Is this something that I can do something about or not?” If not, I have to give it to God and let it go. If I can do something about it, then I need to be proactive. I need to first pray for guidance, then get busy working through the issues.

This process frees my mind to be happy. Let go of the junk and hang on to the good. I understand that happiness typically depends on my circumstances while true joy depends on another level of understanding and relationship with our higher power. Today I choose to be happy, but I will also continue to seek joy from my higher power.

“I will make this day a happy one, for I alone can determine what kind of a day it will be.” ~Anonymous

Tomorrow when you wake up and your mind takes off with all the worries of today or past regrets of yesterday, stop your mind. Literally tell it to stop. Redirect your thoughts to thanking God for all of your blessings. Yes you have many blessings in your life if you stop and look for them. Just look around, you can find many others who are suffering more than you. Count your blessings, be thankful for them and then give your struggles over to God. Just for this day let him worry about them while you enjoy the day.

Go out and share your happiness today!!!

Can I just lay on the couch today?

We needI admit there are days when vegetating on the couch in front of the TV feels pretty good. Some days the TV wins and some days my desire to improve myself wins. When I take the time to do something productive or improve myself in some way I always feel better about myself. Why can’t we lay on the couch AND feel better about ourselves?

We have a part of us deep inside that craves self-improvement whether that be exercise, taking a class, cleaning the house, or reading personal development material. It is when we ignore the yearnings that we allow ourselves to get into a funk. We have a tendency to beat ourselves up for laying around the house and not being productive. There is a reason for all of this. We are meant to be creative, productive, life-long learners.

Make it a point every day to have at least one productive goal. It could be as simple as doing 5 jumping jacks, or organize one kitchen drawer. Make it something simple that can be accomplished. If it is too large, we can get overwhelmed and not tackle the task. As you start to accomplish your goals, you will get even more motivated to keep going because that is how we are wired. We need goals and we need to accomplish them. If you need help setting your goals simply send me an email at jenny@jenniferhester.com and I will help you get started. Go out and show everyone you’re “AWESOME” today.

Are you in the arena?

www.jenniferhester.com

www.jenniferhester.com

Many people will not pursue their dream due to fear. One particular fear is the fear of what others will think. I must include myself in having that fear. I was almost paralyzed by fear of others opinions of my work. How did I overcome this fear? By surrounding myself with like-minded people who encouraged me to continue with my work. Every day I keep taking steps toward my goals. Some days my steps are larger than others and some days I feel as if I am crawling on my hands and knees.

When I was in the process of publishing my book I wanted to quit daily because of the barrage of negative and fearful thoughts that went through my mind. I’m glad I didn’t quit. Meeting that goal is one of greatest accomplishments in my life.

I’m a huge fan of Dr. Brene` Brown, author of “Daring Greatly” and her research on shame and vulnerability. She has some wonderful insight on how to view this fear of others opinions.  Dr. Brown also talks about critics in some of her work and I find it important to share that insight as you embark on your journey. If you are interested in learning more about her you can check out her Ted talks here.

Dr. Brown shares a great reference from Theodore Roosevelt referring to his speech, “The man in the arena”. You can click here to see a full excerpt. In summary of the speech it is basically saying, do not care about the critics and haters, unless they are in the arena getting their ass kicked with you. I love that.

It’s easy to stand outside the arena and criticize. I would have to agree with Dr. Brown, unless you are in the arena with all of us, bloodied and beaten, then we should not give the critics our time.

Dr. Brown also shares in her work,“the greatest pain I’ve ever seen is from people who’ve spent their lives outside the arena, wondering what would’ve happened had I shown up?”

I understand that pain. I have known for years that I was destined for more than what I was allowing myself to accomplish. I was afraid of what feels like everything sometimes. It’s hard trying to figure out where to even start and then when you do start, it’s hard to stay on the path or know which way to turn. I understand, I have been there and still walk that path.

If you are just getting started on your dream, be aware, that you are going to have “nay sayers” telling you that you can’t. Some of them will be those closest to you. Do not give them time in your mind, unless they too are in the arena. Surround yourself with those in the arena, they will be honest and supportive. Seek out those companions for feedback.

My challenge to you this week is to seek out others who are pursuing their dreams and invite them into your life. Turn a deaf ear to those outside of the arena for they are letting fear run their life. As always, I am here to help you in anyway get started and begin your journey to your best self. Shoot me an email at jenny@jenniferhester.com. Wishing you all peace and success.

The secret to success.

www.jenniferhester.com

www.jenniferhester.com

There was a very successful business man who was to be interviewed by a local TV station. During the interview he was going to share with the viewing audience his key to success. As the interview started the reporter wasted no time in getting to the point. He asked the successful business man to please share his secret of success with the TV audience. The business man looked at him and said, “Two words.” The reporter got very excited and said, “Please share with us the two words.” The business man said, “Right decisions.”

The reporter had a confused look on his face and asked the business man to share with the audience how someone could go about making right decisions. The business man held up one finger and said, “One word.” The reporter said, “Please share the one word with us.” The business man replied, “Experience.”

The reported scratched his head, looked back at the business man and said, “How does someone go about getting this experience to make right decisions?” The business man held up two fingers and said, “Two words.” The reporter of course replied, “Please share these two words with our viewers.” The business man leaned in close and looked the reporter right in the eyes and said with a strong voice, “Wrong decisions.”

Really, that’s it!!! Wrong decisions!!! I make those everyday. I should be enormously successful!!

Making mistakes in our everyday life is a given. It’s what we are risking and trying to accomplish through those decisions that is key. I can make a mistake on a recipe that I am cooking for dinner or I can make a mistake on a program I am putting together to teach young women how to be more confident. That’s the difference. One is a small mistake that will only affect the people sitting at my dinner table, while the other could embarrass me in front of a room full of people.

The point of the story is to say that we all make mistakes and we all make wrong decisions in our lives. What we have to be ready to embrace is being okay with the fear of making mistakes while pursuing our purpose in life. Who cares if you make a mistake? There is not a person on the face of this earth that has not made a mistake. Those who are not making mistakes are those sitting on the sidelines doing nothing. Failure is part of success. If you want to succeed, you must be willing to fail.

This week my challenge to you is to get out there and make some mistakes. Shake life up a bit. Get out of your comfort zone and walk toward the life you are created to live. Start that journey toward a life of purpose. As always, if you need help getting started just shoot me an email at jenny@jenniferhester.com. Wishing you all peace and success.

 

Anyone can grow up, maturing is an option.

www.jenniferhester.com

www.jenniferhester.com

When I became an adult at eighteen years of age, I was an adult in age and physical appearance only. I lacked the emotional, mental and spiritual maturity that is necessary to respond to life as an adult, so I reacted to life instead.

Part of the reason most 18 years olds make decisions that cause parents wince is because their brains are not even fully developed until they are 23 years old. The other part of the reason we see questionable decisions from adults is lack of knowledge about how to grow in these areas.

A 2003 survey by the Jenkins group shares some interesting results on adults and reading.

  • One-third of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives.
  • 42 percent of college graduates never read another book after college.
  • 80 percent of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.
  • 70 percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
  • 57 percent of new books are not read to completion.

If we are to grow and fully develop as mature adults one key way to work on this is to read. We can save ourselves much heartache by learning from others who have already been down that long trudged path and learn from their mistakes.

I love to read material from people I admire and respect. Learning from them and how they live their lives allows me to grow in all aspects of my life. As I become more aware of my own faults and how to work to correct them, then I see improvement in othr areas of my life. I don’t want to be afraid of change or afraid to face myself in the mirror. I want to look honestly into that mirror and like what I see and know that I am a work in progress.

I have been told that the attributes that we admire in others are actually attributes that we hold within ourselves. If we are not living life with those attributes shining brightly for others to see it is because we are not living an authentic life.

My challenge for you this week is to read or listen to one book from someone you admire that will help you to grow in some way.

If you need help getting started making the changes to an authentic life or want to grow emotionally, mentally, or spiritually I would be glad to help you get started. Shoot me an email at jenny@jenniferhester.com. Wishing you all peace and success.

Don’t play the blame game, look inside first.

Lori Vowels Photography

Lori Vowels Photography

Women can at times be mean spirited and ugly to each other. Why? It is their lack of self-worth and insecurities. During a girls teenage years it is a fact that our self-esteem decreases. What are we doing to regain our self-worth? How do we reverse that negativity in our lives?

We are not taught positive mindsets, personal development, self-awareness, or emotional intelligence in general studies in school. These are areas that we must search for ways to improve. Unless we intentionally go looking for how to correct these issues in the appropriate way, we will look for answers outside of ourselves.

We will not be aware that we can fix the majority of our problems by simply looking within. Our issues will always be external unless we have a strong foundation inside to steady us through our day to day activities. All of our problems are not created by someone else. Most of our problems are created by our wrong reactions to a situation. Having a strong self-awareness of who we are will keep us from being swayed by every little breeze that comes along.

When we look inside we are not going to find an ugly, mean spirited person, yet that is sometimes how we act. That type of behavior comes from insecurities. We have to fix the insecurities to fix that behavior. When we look inside we should do so with loving kindness. Be understanding and compassionate with ourselves. Inside we are going to find a beautiful kind person who wants to love and be loved, we just have to help that person come out.

The first step in finding this person is going inside and looking around. Be really honest when you do this. If there are issues that need to be addressed then find a qualified counselor who will help you understand your feelings. Counseling is not for the weak, it is for the strong. Those who go to counselors are the ones who have the courage to say, “I want to change”, “I want to be my best self”. These are the people who learn how to overcome the negativity inside. This allows for the necessary changes to take place to move forward and get out of the “I’m not enough” rut. I don’t know of anyone who is “not enough”, they are just unaware of what steps they need to take to be their best self.

Find someone you really admire. What is it about that person that you admire so much? Are they honest, loving, giving, living with integrity, have great character? The things that we admire most in others are characteristics that we hold on the inside of us as well. We admire them because they are a reflection of our real selves. All of these traits are inside of us just waiting to come out. We need to learn to nurture these traits within ourselves and let them start flourishing. Learn to instill these qualities within ourselves to be who we were truly designed to be.

Starting today, take the first step toward your new, inspiring, courageous, I really am a great person life. Look inside and see how amazingly beautiful you are.

5 ways to stop life from controlling your destiny

Striving for Excellence!Are you letting life drive you? This is an area that I am working on improving. Last week I had a child home sick for 4 days and it totally through my schedule off. The reason it through my schedule off was because I let it. I didn’t stick to what I knew needed to be done. I got a few things done, but not nearly what I could have accomplished had I stuck to my routine of scheduling life, instead of it scheduling me. Here is a list of ways to make sure we are living our lives on purpose, instead of letting life lead us.

Schedule your day, the day before. This is of the utmost importance when you are taking charge of your life. Plan out your next day late in the afternoon or early evening, this way you can add to or take away from your schedule as you let your mind mull over the agenda. You will think of things that you forgot or you will see that you will need extra time for other items.

Set long term goals then break them down into daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. Our long term goals can be lost in the busyness of life if we don’t stay focused on them. Setting our agendas to include working on our long term goals on a consistent basis allows us to slowly work toward achieving them and helping us to not get overwhelmed by their size. Breaking our goals down and accomplishing a little every day will not only keep us from getting overwhelmed, but will let us see progress on a regular basis.

Be grateful every day. When we remain grateful, we allow our minds to stay focused on the positives. Negativity easily creeps into our thinking when we aren’t thinking on purpose. We have over 60,000 thoughts per day. If we don’t stay focused on what we are thinking about these could easily be 60,000 negative thoughts per day that will absolutely destroy our progress in moving forward. Every morning when you wake up, start making that gratitude list and continue to work on it throughout your day.

Exercise. If you are not exercising right now, then I challenge you to start today with just 5 pushups (girl ones), 5 sit-ups, and 5 squats. Start slow and set realistic goals. If you can’t do these then get a couple cans of canned veggies and do 10 curls on each arm. Each time you set a goal and accomplish it, you will want to accomplish more. We get overwhelmed because we set unrealistic goals that we can’t maintain long term then we get discouraged. Don’t set a goal to run a mile a day starting out. Start slow and inch your way up.

Eat healthy. I look at eating healthy this way. We eat 21 meals per week, if I can eat 14 healthy meals per week that is better than none. I am not going to beat myself up when I make a mistake. When I mess up, I am going to start over right away. Yes, I make mistakes, everyone does, but that will not hold me back from trying again. Incorporate healthy eating into your life a little at a time. Don’t get discouraged when you mess up, shake it off and keep moving forward.

Don’t try to be perfect in life, strive for excellence. We need to be excellent in all we do, which means we try to do the best we can and continue to push ourselves to improve every day. That’s it. That’s all it takes is to just be better than yesterday. If you fail, get up and try again.

Go out today and show the world how AWESOME you are. Set your goals and be a leader for all those around you. Others need someone to guide them, you are that someone.